Doin Laundry
by GWA
Summary: Written by Yvj as part of the July Guess the Author Contest.


Welcome to the first Guess the Author contest. I am you host, Jason 'Zaratan' Jones, and I hope you enjoy this little treat we have for you. A number of writers have submitted stories to be placed under the GWA name, and it your job to guess who wrote each story. There are no names attached to the stories right now (though there will be afterwards) and no author's notes. It is up to you, the readers, to guess who wrote each story based on the style and so forth. Simply email me at zaratan4 at hotmail dot com with your responses. The one who was closest or most accurate will select the topic for the next round.

For this one, the theme was simply… Doing Laundry. Our contestants could do with that as they will, and boy have they ever.

And now, on to our contestants;

**Zaratan** – Host supreme, celebrating his first year here, and hoping to become as productive again as in the past, with an on-going series and many other stories under his belt.

**Blackbird** – A newer player to the Kim Possible scene, with a deft touch with both one-shots and a popular Kigo series in the works.

**Spectre666** – An amazing talent with a broad range, moving from angst to comedy to smuff. Made spankings an interesting thing here.

**Yuri Sisteble** – His interesting glimpse into the future of KP and crew continue to dazzle one and all.

**Jim Vincible** – With several stories under his belt, this talented writer has started a major epic in the making. Considering he has only just started here recently, he is quickly making his way up to the big leagues here.

**Whitem** – Comedy, action, drama, smuff, he does it all with style and flair.

**Yvj **– A master at the art of the one-shot, and with several major stories, this artist is looking to claim a spot at the top.

And there are your writers for this one folks. Check out all 7 stories, and make your picks for Guess the Author before July 31st. Oh, and none of these characters belong to us, we're just using them. Have fun!

Hey folks, thanks all for reading and enjoying. Now, folks, for the big moment… the following story was written by… **Yvj**! Be sure to check out everything else by this author, and stay tuned for the next Guess the Author!

Doin Laundry - By Yvj

What once appeared to be a simple task had now become an overwhelming chore. It was now apparent that she would have to clean at least two loads today.

_I swear he gets more dirt on his clothes than there is at a construction site _

Kim reached into the laundry basket and began to sort out the clothes from the useless junk. There were dozens of balls of lint, a yo-yo, a flyer for a videogame sale, the occasional Fearless Ferret pen. Oodles of Diablo sauce packets and plenty of wadded up pieces of paper. Unlike the rest of the other junk, the wadded pieces of paper she scanned through thoroughly.

She considered briefly that what she was doing could technically be seen as a breach of his privacy. However, after a brief bout with her conscious, curiosity and suspicion won out. Although, of course, she had no doubt that Ron was faithful, there was nothing wrong with being absolutely sure that he was faithful. Besides, after knowing someone for almost twenty years, you should be entitled to go through his or her pockets for signs of infidelity

She got a scare when she found the name Jenny and a number on a dirty napkin. But Jenny according to Wade; who she had awoken from a nap to search for the info; Jenny turned out to be Jenny's pizzeria which was owned by an old man who named the restaurant after his daughter who was now happily married and living in Alaska. As she had expected, there was nothing to worry about. There was nothing more romantic than confirming your complete and utter trust of a significant other.

Finally, she found single pairs of socks who, lost without their mate would languish lazily at the bottom the laundry bin. Somehow, she found it very analogous with Ron's college life.

"Yo KP" Ron said as he entered the laundry room, with a pen and a pad in his hand "Listen to this, a priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says...What is this, a joke?"

Kim stopped what she was doing and stared at him "you're still thinking about doing stand up at the university talent show?"

"Yeah that's my opening joke, what do you think?"

She shrugged "it's just a little hacky"

"Hacky" he exclaimed "how in the world…." Ron stopped for a moment and looked at Kim and then the clothes.

"Are you…doing….laundry?" There was a hint of surprise in his voice.

"Yeah" she said as she began to fold some shirts.

"Is that my laundry?"

Her right eyebrow raised, _what's with the twenty one questions_ "Yeah, this is your apartment right"

"May I ask why you're doing my laundry?"

"Because you only have two sets of clothes in your closet filthy and filthy but wearable."

"Uh…don't I have somebody who usually does this?"

"You mean your mother? I thought I'd give the poor woman a break this month."

Ron rubbed the back of his neck "you don't have to do this, I mean I would have gotten to it sooner or later. I just didn't think it was time yet."

"Ron you know it's time to do the laundry when you start drying yourself off with newspapers."

"Kimala I'm a recovering procrastinator. You know that, heck I didn't get my birthmark until I was six."

She held up a pair of his briefs "Procrastination is no excuse for streaks."

Ron winced "Ok good point that is nasty. However, I for one believe that you should live each day as if it is your last, now tell me, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life. Not me sister"

"Word to the wise brother, butt hairs equal underwear streaks, you might want to consider a waxing."

_A waxing I get nervous when I'm having my hair cut _

Ron watched wordlessly as Kim continued with the chore, there was something about Kim doing his laundry that fascinated him. "Well I guess it's true behind every successful woman...is a basket of dirty laundry."

"Actually its a basket of her boyfriend's dirty laundry. If you didn't catch that hint, I'm asking for a little help."

"Sorry babe I gave up doing my own laundry when my mother told me not to over-dry my clothes. How do you over-dry something? It's mind boggling."

"Fine" she told him. "Just stand there and stare"

And so he did although Ron found that he was slightly amused at her apparent annoyance "you remember freshman year in high school, when the laundry machine at your house broke down…."

"And my mother told me I had to do my laundry at that public place"

Ron began to laugh, "Yeah then that 'hottie' guy used the washer next to you, and you got all flustered and nervous. You could barely say a complete sentence around that guy."

"What a coincidence I was just dreaming about that guy last night," she teased

"Ha...Ha hilarious; maybe you should be doing the stand up act" he replied sarcastically "Anyway remember when you tripped and a handful of your underwear goes flying out of your laundry bag and landed right next to the guy's foot."

Kim's face turned crimson "and I remember he wouldn't have seen it, if a certain blonde, didn't scream out "Kim you dropped your panties!" and pointed at the floor."

Ron laughed aloud "Then you just ran out of the place like the roadrunner, oh good times, good times."

Kim gave him a hard glance "You know I didn't find it that funny"

Ron pulled himself together "alright think of it this way, I must have subconsciously ruined any chance you had with that guy because, I wanted you all to myself. But I just didn't know it yet….That's the way I see it."

He smiled innocently at her; until she could not help but smile herself, "I guess it was pretty funny."

Ron nodded "yes, it was quite hilarious indeed. And the really funny thing is you still wear those frilly…

"Ron!" she shouted, "someone might hear you"

Ron looked over his shoulder "You do realize that we're in my house and not in public?"

"I know but…..someone might be listening"

"Like, who?" he whispered to her in a mocking tone

She searched her mind for an explanation to her unnecessary paranoia "You know people…like Drakken; he might have the whole apartment bugged or something…"

"Really" Ron grinned, "well if he does have my place bugged, he's heard a lot worse then me talking about your underoos, especially last night around two and three and again before breakfast."

"I guess you're right," she agreed before returning to folding "speaking of underoos, Monique and John are no longer an item"

_Monique broke up with John? Big man on campus John, Mr. "I'm going to be the number one pick of the draft, so get out of my way loser" John _

Ron became intrigued; Kim wasn't the type to air out other people's dirty laundry. No pun intended, (actually it is). If she was telling him this, then it was a story so good she couldn't keep it to herself. "Lay it on me beautiful"

"If I do, you can't say a word to anyone. You got that"

Ron made a zipping motion around his lips.

"John was nice guy and he treated her well but when we she was doing his laundry as a surprise, she discovered that…" She could hardly contain her laughter, "she found out that he wore prettier panties than she did."

That is it this was the big one. He would die laughing and it would be well worth it. St Peter, open the gates Ron Stoppable would be arriving soon. Death by hilarity

He laughed for a full minute before calming down. "Oh thank you, that made my day. I've got to use that in my act"

"No you're keeping silent about this one. It is between you and me, keep it in the vault."

"It's in the vault" _I can't wait to tell Felix_

"Trust me if Monique finds out I told you, no more pre-breakfast snackage, in fact no snackage for a month"

Ron put his hands up to signify his surrender. This was quite a serious threat; he barely survived his last snackage withdrawal.

Kim turned towards the washer and unloaded a new bunch into it. "My horoscope was right when it said I'd be knee deep in a loved one's mess today."

"We Virgos don't believe in horoscopes….." He stopped to reflect when something finally clicked in his mind. "Ah I've got it; this reminds me of my parents when I was little. What we're doing here is kind of like married people stuff….

Kim dropped a pile of clothes "what?"

"Yeah my mom used to do the laundry and since my dad at one time broke the machine and flooded the basement, he was never allowed near it. So sometimes, when he had the free time, he would just stand there at the doorway and talk to her about stuff like this."

Kim didn't say a word.

"It's weird; but seeing you do my laundry, and having me standing here. I just kind of got a married couple vibe out of it."

"Hmmm really" she replied, "….Um have you ever thought about… you know…getting married?"

He smiled "I've thought about the joys of bigamy"

She sighed, "Can we be serious for one minute?"

"Alright, one more joke and then I'm serious" he took a deep breath "Marriage seems like a very expensive way to get your laundry done for free."

"You done?"

"Yes but I can't take credit for that last joke" this time he let out a breath "now I'm serious, have you ever thought about marriage?" he said, quickly turning the question back on her.

"I'd be lying if I said I haven't" she said after a moment of silence "it's a little scary though. They say fifty percent of all marriages end in divorce."

"Bah, I know for a fact that 45 percent of most statistics are made up" Ron said with a wave of his hand.

"Have you ever thought about us…?

"Getting married" he interrupted "Let me put it this way" he said as he helped her pick up the pile of clothes she had dropped "one day after graduation I'm positive that somehow, someway through some weird, bizarre coincidence both of us will be getting married at the same time and at the same place. And that's all I'm going to say that on the matter."

"Really" she said holding back her tears. It was the most beautiful pre-engagement proposal she had ever heard.

"Trust me it's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

She drew closer to him, grabbed him by the face, and kissed him deeply.

"KP you're forgetting about the laundry," he said with her lips pressed against his.

"Laundry can wait"

"That is exactly what I have been saying from the beginning" he managed to blurt out before she kissed him again.

Five minutes later; somewhere on an island far away

Drakken threw his headphones down in disgust "ugh they're going at it again, and on a pile of dirty clothes no less."

Shego plopped herself down on a couch and flipped through a magazine "again, wasn't she just doing the laundry?"

"They're like rabbits those two. There has to be more important things to be done. I swear energy is wasted on the young."

Shego sighed "Dr. D are you upset that Kim Possible has discovered something more fun than screwing up your plans or are just pissed that you haven't gotten any since Taft was in office ."

"Hurtful words Shego, hurtful words!"


End file.
